Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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