I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
