tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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