i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
