Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize