Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
