Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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