I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
