problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
