just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
