u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
