It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
