So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Panties = found
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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