I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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