y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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