I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
