I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
