You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
