I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
