Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's shark week go big or go home
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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