I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
