tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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