i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize