she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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