is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
