even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
