After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
