that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
