How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
they're like a gay fantastic four
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
