i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
