so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
