Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
