I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
