Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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