idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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