I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
