Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
