Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
