OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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