Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
