Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
