Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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