Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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