Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
