I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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