he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
