Need sex. Gaining weight.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
