i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
