So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
