I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
