we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
